New Evidence Suggests That “Perfect” Woman You Follow on Social Media is Burning You Out

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A new study of more than 4,200 women, conducted by TrueveLab in collaboration with The University of Tennessee Department of Industrial Organizational Psychology, analyzed the impact of social media and its unique influence on this generation of women. Burnout Study in Women found that time spent on social media was not the biggest predictor of burnout, but how women feel after comparing themselves to others while using social media.

In fact, more than 60% of women said they compare themselves against a woman who seems to do it all. Not only were participants more likely to feel negatively about themselves after social media, these negative feelings were also directly linked with burnout – more so than time spent using social media. The most common emotions triggered by social media self-comparisons were envy (53%) and worry (36%).

“It’s not just that we have more to do – and more ‘ideal’ to try to hit – we also have SO MANY more ways to compare ourselves to others than ever before,” says Dr. Darria Long, founder of Trueve Lab and study co-author. “By default, we’re measured against some fictional ‘do it all’ avatar, and social media algorithms particularly trigger this, leading to what I call ‘Comparitonitis’. Plus, if you’re not doing it perfectly, then it’s now labeled as a #fail,” adds Dr. Long.

The study also coined the term, The Do it All Discrepancy, the difference between how much a woman feels she is expected to do versus what she feels she actually can do. This reflects the very real expansion of women’s responsibilities, plus the idealized “do it all” expectations that have risen over the past generation. Alarmingly, the Burnout Study in Women showed that 82% of women felt that they should be able to do it all, but only 7% felt they could.

Most study respondents (87%) felt they never had enough time to get everything done, and that they felt fully present at home or work only 53% of the time. “Women are starved for time and focus,” says Dr. Long. “That’s explained in our results by the Do It All Discrepancy experienced by so many women. We now face the greater real obligations – – such as work, childcare, parenting, home management – – plus the ideal expectations we carry to ‘do it all,’ from travel sports at age three to home-baked organic cakes – all with perfect highlighted hair.”

Study authors noted that solutions for burnout require changes both on a systematic and corporate level, as well as those that can be impactful on an individual level. Future publications will dive even further into each of those.

To help women improve burnout now, study authors developed the What’s Your Burnout Risk (and what to do about it) Quiz, to give women data-driven solutions to burnout that they can enlist now.

These findings, the first published in the ongoing Burnout Study in Women, and a series of planned publications, are titled, “Understudied social influences on general and parental burnout: Social media-related emotions, comparisons, and the do it all discrepancy” and published by Frontiers in Psychology. This study was conducted by TrueveLab, funded by LUNA Bar and Computers4Kidz, and in media partnership with Good Housekeeping.

About The Burnout Study in Women: This publication was based on an academic survey by TrueveLab and the University of Tennessee Department of Industrial Organizational Psychology completed between October and December 2021. The Burnout Study in Women study was launched to establish a more holistic understanding of burnout as it develops from the many life domains experienced (and juggled) by women, and how these multiple and complex spheres of life interact for burnout. This ongoing study will release future publications, aimed at developing targeted solutions for burnout in women.

About Trueve: Founded by Dr. Darria Long, Trueve takes a data-driven lens to women’s health and parenting. Trueve believes that every woman deserves access to evidence-based health information, and the peace of mind that comes with that. TrueveLab is the research arm of Trueve, performing original research in areas of women’s health and parenting, where data is deficient.

About Darria Long, MD MBA: Dr. Darria is a board-certified Harvard and Yale-trained emergency physician and Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Tennessee. She is a regular guest on national news networks, mom of two, author of national bestselling Mom Hacks, and TedX speaker of An End to “Crazy Busy”.

About the UTC Research Team: Dr. Chris Cunningham and Dr. Kristen Black are faculty members at The University of Tennessee Department of Industrial Organizational Psychology. Combined, they have more than 30 years of experience in research, teaching, and practical intervention work related to the protection and promotion of worker health, safety, and well-being. They are authors of, Essentials of Occupational Health Psychology, focused on practical guidance for worker health through targeting psychological stress at work, workplace safety, interpersonal stress, recovery from demands, and work-family dynamics.

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