How to Be Kind to Yourself While Caring for the Ones You Love


The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted our lives in unique ways—throwing millions of individuals into a new role as family caregiver and challenging seasoned caregivers to take on additional responsibilities in order to keep themselves and their loved ones safe. Whether they’re lending a hand to an aging spouse, parent, relative or friend, more than one in five Americans now serve as unpaid family caregivers, according to the latest research from AARP.

For every family caregiver—veteran or newcomer—it’s often difficult to balance personal obligations such as work and caring for children, in addition to daily caregiving responsibilities. The challenges of tending to a loved one can place significant stress on the person overseeing care. Gradually, this stress can build up and lead to caregiver distress—a situation where an individual may become more susceptible to other health risks such as high blood pressure, diabetes and increased risk of stroke.

“It’s very common to see caregivers placing the needs of their loved ones before their own,” said Lakelyn Hogan, gerontologist and caregiver advocate at Home Instead Senior Care. “But we just can’t pour from an empty cup. By taking time to tend to your own needs and acknowledge the challenges you may be facing, we can create a caregiving environment that is healthy and rewarding for every person involved.”

While caring for an older adult can be a meaningful and fulfilling experience, the daily duties of caregiving can still prompt isolation and self-neglect. To keep your personal well-being top of mind, Hogan recommends the following strategies and tips:


  • Schedule “me time.” Even just a few mindful moments each day can help reduce feelings of stress or resentment. A quick walk around the block, a 30-minute music break or a three-minute deep breathing exercise on a meditation app can make all the difference. If you’re struggling to find time for just yourself, try asking other family members and friends to momentarily step in. Or, consider seeking out a professional caregiver for intermittent help.
  • Create a gratitude jar. It can be easy to lose sight of why you took on this role in the first place. Try to remain optimistic by using note cards to record what you are thankful for. Place them by your desk or bedside table – and at the end of the year or season, reflect on the small moments that made you smile. This simple exercise can even retrain your brain for positive thinking. If you need help getting started, try filling in the blank: The best part of being a caregiver is __________.
  • (Actually) unplug. Plan for respite care to take single days off or even enjoy a week-long vacation. When you’re away, stay away. Talk about things other than caregiving, crack open a book you haven’t been able to get to and treat yourself to something special as a reward for everything you’ve accomplished. Whenever possible, avoid long periods of time on social media, which can leave you comparing yourself to others or feeling down in the dumps about your current situation.
  • Explore workplace benefits. Balancing a career and caregiving can come with its own set of challenges. But oftentimes, employees aren’t aware of what their company offers in the way of family-friendly benefits. Especially now during the current work environment, many companies have introduced flexible arrangements, such as more paid time-off or remote working solutions. Take time to familiarize yourself with the benefits your employer may offer, and be sure to use them to your advantage.
  • Join a support group. Social distancing can create feelings of isolation for caregivers, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Dedicate time each week to connecting with other caregivers and lifting one another up. Lean on your own support group, whether your “team” is friends, family or even an online community like Home Instead’s Caregiver Stress Facebook page.

Practicing self-care is not selfish. We are all living in uncertain times and adjusting to the new normal. By making time for yourself, you can ensure you’re able to provide the best care for your loved one for years to come. And, most importantly, don’t forget that the care you’re providing is making a significant impact on your loved one.

For more resources to help manage stress or identify the things that might make caregiving more challenging for you, visit CaregiverStress.com.

ABOUT HOME INSTEAD SENIOR CARE

Founded in 1994 in Omaha, Nebraska, the Home Instead Senior Care® franchise network provides personalized care, support and education to enhance the lives of aging adults and their families. Today, the network is the world’s leading provider of in-home care services for seniors, with more than 1,200 independently owned and operated franchises that provide more than 80 million hours of care annually throughout the United States and 13 other countries. Local Home Instead Senior Care offices employ approximately 90,000 CAREGivers℠ worldwide who provide basic support services that enable seniors to live safely and comfortably in their own homes for as long as possible. Home Instead Senior Care franchise owners partner with clients and their family members to help meet varied individual needs. Services span the care continuum – from providing personal care to specialized Alzheimer’s care and hospice support. Also available are family caregiver education and support resources.

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