“We have to change our expectations that things are going to be a bit rougher and a bit bumpier with them, but we can go with it. We’re strong.”
MOBILE, Ala. (PRWEB)
February 08, 2022
The stresses surrounding COVID-19 may seem never-ending, especially for parents of school-aged children. Transitioning between in-person learning, virtual learning, and numerous quarantines – helping your students can feel overwhelming on top of everything else you have to manage.
After a recent quarantine with her own two children, AltaPointe Health’s Access to Care Assistant Director, Jennifer Palomo-Gregory, LPC-S, NCC, shares advice and experiences as both a mother and a licensed counselor.
Here are a few ways parents can take back control and manage your mental well-being.
(Watch accompanying video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/upv79PzzeC4)
1. REDEFINE YOUR EXPECTATIONS
“Things are different. And our children are going to respond differently. Our peers and loved ones are going to respond differently. Because of fear, because of stress. All of those things have changed our family dynamics,” explained Gregory.
The first thing parents can do is acknowledge that the current situation is very different than before. Then, modify the expectations you have for yourself and your children based on the current circumstances.
“I can’t expect my child to not feel any of the stress that we are feeling. So knowing that he may have a tantrum this morning because mama’s stressed out and he hasn’t been in school for weeks, understand that we have to be ready for that and that we respond more calmly,” said Gregory. “We have to change our expectations that things are going to be a bit rougher and a bit bumpier with them, but we can go with it. We’re strong.”
2. ONLY CONTROL THE CONTROLLABLE
“We can’t do it all. And we can’t control it all,” said Gregory.
Realize that some things are beyond your control and let go of them. Try to focus on the things you can control like you spend your time, how you can model positive thinking, and what your priorities are right now.
“During these times, all odds are against us sometimes. And it feels like here’s Plan A, that didn’t work. Here’s Plan B, that didn’t work. And so when we can’t control everything, I think perspective kicks in. The most important thing to hold onto that we can control is ourselves,” explained Gregory.
3. REPRIORITIZE YOUR NEEDS
Decide what is more vs. less important, and realize that your priorities may be different now.
“I remember when I had my first child, and my boss at that time said, now Jennifer, things are going to shift right now for you. Because things that used to be super important to you, are no longer as important, because now you have your son. And that is so true. And I look at that and think about where we are now. Things that were so important to us back then, are not anymore,” said Gregory.
“You can look at it from a professional level, that certain emails are not necessary and you can put those to the side. What are the things that need to be handled right now? And what’s important for your children too?” added Gregory.
4. ESTABLISH A FLEXIBLE ROUTINE
“If we’re expected to do all of this and we don’t have a routine set, it’s chaos,” explained Gregory.
A routine helps bring structure to your day and can help accomplish the priorities that you’ve set. But be flexible and know there will be times you have to adjust.
“Being able to have the expectation that there is going to be some kind of structure that helps us go through our day, but at the same time is flexible, where it doesn’t have to been all in the same order all the time. That allows us to go with those moments and work through those moments where emotions are high are stressful. We can change it around and take that break that we need for a little bit,” said Gregory.
5. STAY SOCIALLY ENGAGED
Social distancing doesn’t mean social isolation. Stay connected with other parents and reach out to teachers for assistance. You don’t have to navigate this alone.
“I can’t carry it all. I need my mom. I need my friends. And friends can be one,” explained Gregory. “And that can be as simple as a FaceTime call where chaos is going on, and I can just look at them and say, ‘Do you see what’s going on? I don’t know if I can do this.’ And they can tell me, ‘You’re going to be okay. We’ll be right here.’”
6. BOOST YOUR RESILIENCY
“My son told me the other day, ‘Mom, it’s going to be okay.’ And it was cute, but he doesn’t need to tell me that. I need to be okay in order for the kids to be okay. We have all these thoughts that go around, but it’s so true, how do we take care of ourselves?” said Gregory.
Be the strongest you by staying active and healthy. Lean on family and friends for emotional support. And trust yourself. Don’t be too hard on yourself when things aren’t perfect.
“Know that we are humans, and we can only do so much. And sometimes even in our imperfections is when we learn the most and we grow the most,” added Gregory.
7. EMBRACE PROFESSIONAL HELP
“Honestly, it’s so refreshing to be able to lean on someone else and to get the help that helps you to go forward,” explained Gregory.
Everyone needs support at some point. If things continue to feel overwhelming, don’t be ashamed to reach out to a professional for help.
“The counselor’s job is to listen to you, to understand you, and to support you emotionally. And there’s nothing to be embarrassed of it. If anything, we come out stronger with the help that we get,” said Gregory.
ABOUT ALTAPOINTE HEALTH
AltaPointe is a health care company focused on the whole person, providing primary care and specializing in mental health and substance use treatment for 60+ years. Located in Alabama, AltaPointe provides more than one million primary and mental health services each year. For more information on AltaPointe Health’s full continuum of care, visit AltaPointe.org.